i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
