So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
