Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
