Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
