First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You took a bar mat shot.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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