don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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