Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Boobs speak an international language.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
