He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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