oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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