hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
