and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
