It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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