i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think a kid would responsible me up
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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