we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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