yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
