I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
