this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
