just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
