He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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