idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
