you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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