im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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