thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
