Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
