I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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