"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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