I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
