my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
