I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
