Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
