You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
