I CAN MOONWALK!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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