Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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