it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
