and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
