pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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