What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
