I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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