I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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