You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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