I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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