my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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