I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
