if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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