i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
