i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
