Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
