I just made out with a guy for $7.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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