so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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