Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
