i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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