You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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