spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you had me at cake vodka
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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