maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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